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“I was swiping through the app when some of my friends asked to help out, which — encouraged by a couple of beers — I agreed to,” Ian told me in an email.

“When they started seeing other guys appearing on it, it was pretty obvious I wasn’t straight.

What’s more, I still didn’t know enough to really understand the type of woman I was attracted to.“I didn’t know how to flirt with a guy.” But on Tinder, Landwirth says, he could finally just relax, because the app took some of the guesswork out of things.There was no fear he’d be hitting on a straight guy — which meant he could finally focus on figuring out who he was attracted to, and whether they were interested in him. I was able to let loose,” he says, “to try the lamest pickup lines or do some serious flirting.” Plus, having these exchanges on the internet felt less intimidating than interacting with someone face-to-face.Both are now completely “out.” Tinder, they say, helped them get there. And as far as most people were concerned, I was a straight woman.*** In many ways, Landwirth and Vidal’s story is my story, too. But when I downloaded the app, I took a step I’d been wanting to take for a long time: I set my preferences to show me both men and women.

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