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Females are usually bombarded with messages and can pick and choose which messages they respond to, she said.

Al Cooper, a leading expert in the field of Internet sexuality and the author of the book "Sex and the Internet: A Guidebook for Clinicians," said Mileham's research is important in helping to understand this increasingly common phenomenon.

Unlike some fatal attractions, a simple click of a mouse button ends contact – should the person want to break it off – without any explanations or apologies, she said.

Mileham conducted in-depth online interviews with 76 men and 10 women, ages 25 to 66, who used Yahoo's "Married and Flirting" or Microsoft's "Married But Flirting," Internet chat rooms geared specifically for married people.

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But some used this form of effortless escapism while their spouse was in the room, she said.

Said one such man, "While I'm on the computer my wife just assumes I'm writing a report for work." Another man said his wife, who knew what he was doing and didn't like it, looked over his shoulder sometimes while he was typing, Mileham said.

Several participants indicated they divulged more about themselves to online partners than to their wives or husbands.

"We started chatting about life, our marriage, what we like to eat, what sexual positions we like the best," wrote one man to Mileham.

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